i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she woke up with a sticky ear
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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