Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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