that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
