dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
