Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
