I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
