dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
