mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
