Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
