Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
