Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
