so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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