Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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