She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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