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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo quero taco bell

  Fav 4 1181 1540

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.

  Fav 8 1736 748

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.

  Fav 3 1212 3046

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf

  Fav 28 1670 7445

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

  Fav 9 3146 1113

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

  Fav 4 2082 1398

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.

  Fav 8 721 2270

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.

  Fav 9 1343 683

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

  Fav 5 1051 539

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part

  Fav 2 978 717

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends

  Fav 1 560 500

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

  Fav 0 580 280

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.

  Fav 0 150 93

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.

  Fav 3 109 13

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.

  Fav 1 42 12

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