This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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