I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
