marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
