Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
