We're facebook friends in real life
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
