i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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