you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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