he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
