You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont even know how to be here
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
