Betty ford says i'm here all night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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