i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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