The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
