I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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