Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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