he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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