She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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