Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
