I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize