u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
