Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
