Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
