I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
