I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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