no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
50% drunk capacity currently
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
