Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
