Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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