He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize