Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
