i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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