turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
