my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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