Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize