Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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