wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
