My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
