you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
