I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i now understand why vodka
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
