So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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