EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
