I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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