Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
