dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
