would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
