Where did you get a picture of my penis
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have aggressive nipples.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
