The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
